There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
