Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm at about main and main street
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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