it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
