My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
