Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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