i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
