I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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