The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
