Me. At least after what I've been through.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
