I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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