You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
