If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
