On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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