I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
