i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
