Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
and you fell through a lawn chair
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
