She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
