8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
