when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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