He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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