forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
