Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
