I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
