Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
