We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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