how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
