Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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