It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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