mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
