we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I made him laugh his dick is mine
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
