So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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