shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Drake has all the answers
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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