i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
