Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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