; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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