with your own penis?
I bet he comes in French.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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