Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
