hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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