i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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