I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
