"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
