I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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