I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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