a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He passed out mid-signature
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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