return my video game
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
