I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
