then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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