Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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