HIV tests are more positive than that guy
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
