no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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